Posted By James Besser
This Jewish Life: Debates With Myself
I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Well, that isn't entirely true. I have a lot of ideas about what I want to do with my life, I just haven't made a decision about which of those ideas is the "best" idea. I thought my year at the RAC would provide some clarity, but, in general, it has only complicated the question even more. This past week has exemplified and intensified the ongoing debate I've been having with myself.
Last weekend, I worked at one of the RAC's L'Taken Social Justice seminars, which bring Reform Jewish High school students from across the country together in Washington D.C. to learn about Jewish values and public policy and to lobby their Congressmen on issues of importance to the Reform Movement. These weekends are my favorite part of my job. I enjoy developing educational materials and creating fun, intensive programs that teach students about important social justice issues. Most of all, I love empowering students and giving them the chance to articulate their concerns about our world. "OK," I often think, "Maybe I should become an educator."
But as I watch the students interact with their rabbis (who chaperone their trips to L'Taken), I see what a positive influence these religious leaders can have on their congregants, and I'm often tempted to head off to rabbinical school. I relish the idea of taking the time to delve into the teachings of the Jewish tradition and learn more about the various interpretations of the texts that I have studied only briefly in Hebrew school and college courses.
Then, on Monday morning, I joined the Coalition Against Religious Discrimination at a lobby visit with Congressional staff to raise our concerns about the charitable choice language in the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration reauthorization. The struggle that I described in my previous blog posting resurfaced and I was reminded of my deeply held, longtime desire to work in social services or to devote my life to some form of direct service.
On Monday night, as I watched the State of the Union, I waffled again, wondering how I could walk away from the health care and church/state advocacy work I've been doing all year. When President Bush talked about his desire to expand charitable choice and his willingness to allow Americans to remain uninsured, I thought it would be a good use of my time to remain an advocate and lobbyist in order to combat efforts like these.
And this morning I attended a briefing about the Department of Justice's efforts to protect religious freedom. I considered the possibility of going to law school to learn the nuance and details of law related to the First Amendment. Interestingly, this is the only one of my options that I never contemplated before coming to the RAC, but I've realized that having a law degree would allow me to be more fully involved in the political process or participate in litigation that would set precedents and parameters related to religious freedom.
In conclusion, I have no conclusion. I'm being pulled in so many different directions and unfortunately, I'm not sure how to resolve this internal debate. I know the answer isn't going to simply fall into my lap and I want to be proactive about making a decision, but I am also enjoying having so many opportunities at my fingertips and I hate to choose one over another.